The Lady Mayoress and MS
Open Door - February 2006 pages 6-7
Sarah Joiner
Whilst taking on the additional role of Lady Mayoress on top of a normal daily life is a feat for anyone, MS brings its own twists.
In May 2005 I became Lady Mayoress of the City of Westminster, one of the major local authorities in London. Westminster has 222,000 residents and well over another million people travel into Westminster every day for work. With most of London’s major tourist attractions, shopping, theatres and galleries, we draw over 28 million people from all over the world each year.
So why me? I’m not an elected councillor but my former husband Tim is and he asked me to be his Lady Mayoress when he was made Lord Mayor. His role is to be the ceremonial head of the City of Westminster, Chairman of the City Council and First Citizen. That makes me ‘First Lady’ and there is a certain wow factor when everyone (apart from HM Queen!) defers to you. Imagine the scene: 2000 people are seated in Westminster Abbey awaiting your arrival at a senior politician’s memorial service and as you walk in, everyone stands up to acknowledge you!
I’m 45 years old. I have secondary progressive MS. I was originally diagnosed with relapsing/remitting MS in 1981 so I’ve had it longer than I haven’t, if you get my drift. But being a blonde with a sense of attitude, I have always thought I was special (my Daddy told me I was when I was little and it’s stuck!) The only way forward is to believe the MS just makes me more special. And if I don’t believe it, no one else will! I now use a wheelchair scooter for most of my outside activities and a stick indoors. Standing up and fatigue are the real killers. I work full time as Head of the Private Office for the Director of Development at the Department of Health in Whitehall (NOT a building that you would call disabled accessible in all areas) splitting my time three days in Whitehall, two days working from home. So whilst taking on the additional role of Lady Mayoress on top of a normal daily life is a feat for anyone, MS brings its own twists.
When Tim first asked me, I was very reluctant, so I tested the idea on the people who knew me well. My parents: “Great honour, do it.” My boss at the time: “Certainly not.” My GP: “Are you mad!” My consultant: “Oh, good heavens! This is going to have to be your call.” My close friends a definitive chorus of “No!”. So naturally, I took it on but only for a modest two or three events each week, a tenth of what Tim covers (but then he has given up his day job for the year to do it).
The staff in the Lord Mayor’s Office have now got into the swing of planning for a disabled Lady Mayoress. It was a little fraught in the early days whilst they got the hang of my needs. Every event I undertake requires a thorough recce for access and loo availability. The mayoral car – a magnificent eco-unfriendly glossy black Rolls Royce with a crest atop and a flag – takes my flat pack scooter in the boot. Much to the amusement of my colleagues at the Department, the car thunders onto the forecourt at Richmond House to whisk me to evening events. Not even the Ministers’ cars are allowed to do that! By the end of our year the chauffeurs and macebearers will be breaking speed records for scooter rebuilds and breakdowns. Using the scooter at all events has given me an opportunity to promote disability and MS in particular. When you’re wearing the gold chain, others make the time to listen!
The year so far has brought me amazing experiences - fun, sad, grand - and I have met some wonderful people. People with MS and supporters at events for the MS Society, the MS Trust and My Shoes. People with disabilities at an art exhibition promoting disabled artists and their work with disabled people at the Serpentine Gallery. Young people at schools, local people at community events, receptions we have given at City Hall to thank the foster carers who look after our vulnerable young people, school governors, everyone who had helped with the aftermath of the 7 July bombing at Edgware Road tube station. Memorial services at Westminster Abbey for the great and the good. A state banquet at Buckingham Palace for the Norwegian Royal Family – quite stunning, I have never seen so many diamonds! A two day visit to Oslo to cut down the Christmas tree for Trafalgar Square, Norway’s annual gift to London since 1947. A small private lunch with Dame Vera Lynn. The Festival of Remembrance at the Albert Hall where the Lord Bishop of London, Richard Chartres, so kindly gave me his support to stand for the Silence. I’ve had proper conversations with Princess Alexandra, Michael Howard, Andrew Lansley, Tony and Cherie and made sure MS got a mention every time. Although even I get star struck when I meet the Queen, she is seriously special.
It has been a complete rollercoaster and very hard work. But all of it worthwhile. It isn’t about us, the Lord Mayor and Lady Mayoress. It’s about others - being there to listen to people, to share their experiences, to celebrate their success, to grieve with them. The important part of the role is not about meeting royalty and the great and good but being part of your local community and it is a humbling experience. I love people and it has been fascinating discovering what makes Westminster tick.
But the special thing that I got out of it? For the first time in my life I have made a friend with MS – a kindred soul (think blonde/attitude!). Strange that it has taken 25 years but it’s been worth waiting for!
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