Sexuality and MS
Open Door - May 2007 pages 8-9
I'm 43 now and have been living with MS since I was 30. MS has had a profound effect on my life, causing me to take early retirement and becoming a YAP (young age pensioner) at the age of 38. Once I started needing a stick to walk, or at times a wheelchair or scooter, I thought my chances of ever meeting a guy were over - who would want me now?
My previous relationship had broken down for many reasons. Due to constant pain, hypersensitivity and overheating in the night I didn't want to be held or cuddled and lost all interest in sex and intimacy. I didn't bother making an effort with my appearance. What was the point? I had written myself off as a woman, resigned to a life of spinsterhood with my cats.
Then life started to get better. My GP prescribed drugs that greatly relieved the pain, and I met an older man who asked me out. I couldn't believe it! He was very understanding and wanted to look after me, always moaning at me to slow down and rest.
I started to grow my hair longer again, started to take better care of my skin, putting on jewellery and wearing makeup occasionally. I had to buy flared jeans to accommodate my splint and FES and have decided they suit my figure. Thank goodness they're back in fashion!
Buying nice lingerie helped boost my self-esteem. My partner urged me to break away from M&S functional black knickers for once... and it worked! Believing that you can still be regarded as a sexual being, and that a man CAN still find you sexually attractive, is important.
I would encourage any woman having difficulty reaching orgasm to invest in a vibrator. They are sold in shops on most high streets now. I was very embarrassed at first, but it certainly brings an added dimension and creativity to sex!
To minimise fatigue I plan my week carefully to alternate commitments with rest days and time spent with my partner. This can sometimes take away spontaneity, but a night of passion is definitely worth a day or two of 'wobbly legs'! And my physio assures me that sex is very good therapy...
Sexuality and MS: a guide for women
Studies suggest that up to 80% of women with MS experience sexual difficulties at some point in their lives. Yet sexual problems remain under-reported and under-diagnosed, despite the fact that many difficulties can be overcome, as the article above shows.
The MS Trust has published a new book to help women with MS to talk about their concerns, not only to healthcare professionals but also to their partners and friends. Throughout the book, we include quotes from women who want to share their experiences of living with MS and offer positive and practical tips for minimising its impact on sexual and intimate relationships.
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