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Sexuality & MS: a guide for womenSection 6: Resources

Games to play
Organisations
Publications
Sex aids

  • Games to play

    • Don't take these too seriously; the idea is to have fun and improvise!

    Sit on a chair and ask your partner to stand behind you.

    • Ask them to run their hands through your hair and massage your head using the tips of their fingers, gently covering your whole head.
    • Ask them to move around your front and sit on your lap facing you, placing one leg either side of you.
    • Ask them to continue massaging your head and move down to your neck and shoulders.
    • Ask them to delicately kiss your face as they do this.

    Blindfold your partner with a silk scarf and then ask them to stand or sit in front of you.

    • Slowly undress them.
    • As you remove each piece of clothing, stroke and caress this part of their body.
    • Stroke their body with your fingers, starting with their face and gradually working down to their feet.
    • Explore each part of them as you go.
    • Vary the intensity of your touch. Tease them sometimes. Use your breath to blow on their skin.
    • You may want to explain to them what you are going to do, or you may want to carry out this activity in silence.
    • As you explore different parts of their body, you may want to ask them how they are feeling - is the touch or caress sensual?

    Next time, swap roles and wear the blindfold while your partner undresses and explores you.

    You could also try this game with the undresser wearing the blindfold.

    Sit down with your legs open as wide as you can and ask your partner to kneel between your legs, facing you.

    • Tell them to place a hand on each of your knees.
    • Bring their face as close to yours as possible so the tips of your noses touch.
    • Move their hands in parallel up your legs to grasp the inside of your thighs halfway.
    • Place your hands on your partner's shoulders and kiss them softly on the lips.
    • Move your partner's hands to the top of your inner thighs.
    • Kiss them more deeply.

    Sit on a chair fully clothed.

    • Ask your partner to walk very slowly around the chair, breathing lightly upon your neck, ears and face while they remove all your clothing except for your pants.
    • Let their hands drift over your body and ask them to give fleeting kisses on your nipples as they move around the chair.
    • Ask them to part your legs and put their head between them, they must not touch you with their hands.
    • Ask them to blow on your genital area and to kiss you fleetingly over your pants.
    • Ask them to play with you through your pants with their thumb and forefinger.

    Sit on a chair with your head tilted backwards.

    • Ask your partner to undo your clothing to expose your neck and breasts.
    • Then pass their fingers over your face stroking your forehead, cheekbones and nose.
    • Ask them to wet their fingers and rub your lips.
    • Lick your partner's fingers very slightly as they are doing this.
    • Ask them to stroke your chin, move their fingers downwards and play with your neck and shoulders.
    • Move their hands to your breasts and tell them to gently play with your nipples with moistened fingers.
    • Ask them to kiss you deeply.

    Ask your partner to take off all their clothes

    • Using a baby's soft hairbrush, brush your partner all over.
    • Try brushing downwards and upwards for different sensations.
    • A stiffer brush will produce a stronger sensation, but beware of being too rough!

    Ask him/her to return the compliment.

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  • Organisations

    • Sexual health

    fpa (formerly Family Planning Association)

    50 Featherstone Street
    London EC1Y 8QU

    0845 122 8690 (England, Scotland and Wales)
    0845 122 8687 (N Ireland)

    Variety of information on sexual health including contraception, safe sex, sex education.

    Counselling

    British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy

    BASRT
    PO Box 13686
    London SW20 9ZH

    0208 543 2707

    Professional organisation for sexual and relationship therapists. Can provide a list of accredited therapists in your area.

    Relate

    Relate Central Office
    Herbert Gray College
    Little Church Street
    Rugby CV21 3AP

    0845 456 1310

    Relate offers advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and support face-to-face, by phone and through the website.

    Self-help groups

    Outsiders Club

    The Outsiders
    4S Leroy House
    435 Essex Road
    London N1 3QP

    0207 354 8291

    Outsiders is a self-help group for people with physical and social disabilities seeking to gain more confidence and to find partners. Runs a user group for disabled women with sexual problems and a sex and disability helpline. The website has lots of practical advice and a range of leaflets.

    Regard

    BM Regard
    London WC1N 3XX

    Regard aims to raise awareness of disability issues within the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered communities and to raise awareness of sexuality issues within the disability communities.

    London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard

    0207 837 7324

    London helpline for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals.

    Turing network

    Lists lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender regional helplines.

    Volunteering

    TimeBank

    2nd Floor
    Downstream Building
    1 London Bridge SE1 9BG

    0845 456 1668

    Timebank UK is a national charity providing volunteers with information on voluntary work and volunteering projects in the UK and overseas.

    Do-It

    YouthNet UK
    First Floor
    50 Featherstone Street
    London EC1Y 8RT

    Provides details of UK volunteer vacancies.

    Carer groups

    Princess Royal Trust for Carers

    London Office
    Unit 14, Bourne Court
    Southend Road, Woodford Green
    Essex IG8 8HD

    0844 800 4361

    Provides carer support services throughout the UK via a network of 129 independently managed Carers' Centres which are listed on the website.

    Carers UK

    20 Great Dover Street
    London SE1 4LX

    0808 808 7777

    Organisation run by carers, providing support for carers.

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  • Other Publications

    • The sex book

    Suzi Godson, Mel Agace, Robert Winston
    Cassell Illustrated (2006). ISBN: 1844035115.
    Explores the subject of sex, health and sexuality in a straightforward and adventurous way.

    The ultimate guide to sex and disability

    Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, Fran Odette.
    Cleis Press (2007). ISBN: 1573443042.
    A self-help sex guide for people living with disabilities, chronic pain and illness.

    Enabling romance: a guide to love, sex and relationships for people with disabilities (and the people who care about them)

    Ken Kroll, Erica Levy Klein.
    No Limits Communications (2001), ISBN: 0971284202.
    This book covers sexual stereotypes, building self-esteem, reproduction, and sexuality for people with disabilities and their partners.

    My secret garden

    Nancy Friday
    Pocket Books; Reissue edition (5 Feb 2008), ISBN: 1416567011.
    A compilation of women's fantasies.

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  • Sex aids

    • Ann Summers

    Gold Group House
    Godstone Road
    Whyteleafe
    Surrey CR3 0GG

    0845 456 6948

    Website, mail-order catalogue and chain of stores throughout UK.

    Beecourse

    PO Box 1824
    Andover
    Hants SP11 7ZJ

    01264 358853

    Website and mail-order catalogue offering a wide range of sex aids.

    Emotional Bliss

    0870 041 0022

    Website and telephone orders. A range of anatomically designed intimate massagers.

    Love Honey

    Unit A, Locksbrook Road
    Bath
    Somerset BA1 3EU

    0800 915 6635

    Website and mail-order catalogue.

    Sh!

    Sh! Mail Order
    374 Station Road
    London. E7 0AB

    0845 868 9599

    Website, mail-order catalogue and London shops for women.

    Spokz

    2 Jordan Croft
    Fradley
    Lichfield
    WS13 8PN

    0845 257 7496

    Website includes a range of sex aid products for people with disabilities.

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