The young person's guide to MS Emotions
MS can be difficult to live with. It is normal to worry about what may happen in the future, or about a new symptom your mum or dad is experiencing. Sometimes roles or relationships may change at home and this can be difficult for everybody to adjust to. There may be a lot of tension and family members could be more short tempered or irritable than usual.
As well as this you will probably still have the same everyday worries as your friends, such as the normal family squabbles, getting your homework done on time, or studying for exams. Below are some of the emotions you might identify with in more detail.
Worry
MS can cause lots of worry because there are so many unknowns and at times it may leave you feeling helpless. It is natural to worry, but if you acknowledge these concerns, although they won't go away, it can make them easier to deal with.
Anger
It is normal to be angry with MS. Sometimes it is difficult to separate MS from the person who has it - try to remember to be mad at MS, not your mum or dad. There may also be times that you get angry or upset with other people because they don't really understand what it is like to live with MS in the family.
Frustration
Because MS is so unpredictable, it can make it hard to plan things, or plans may have to be changed at short notice. This can be really frustrating, especially if you were looking forward to doing something.
Guilt
Sometimes you might feel guilty that you can do things that your mum or dad can't, or because you don't want to do something they've asked you to do. At times you might get angry or impatient with them and then feel really bad about it later.
Embarrassment
A lot of young people are embarrassed by their parents at some point, for example if they do, say or wear the wrong thing. Some MS symptoms can make your mum or dad stand out. This might make you feel uncomfortable or isolated at a time when you don't want to appear to be different from your friends.
Jealousy
If your life has had to change because of MS, sometimes you may find yourself feeling jealous or envious of your friends whose parents don't have MS.
Everybody is different and will have different emotions at different times. This is natural.
"Nothing really worries me because ever since I was born my dad has had MS and nothing critical has ever really happened since then, so there is no reason why it should now."
Oliver, 12
"I worry about not knowing what could happen next. Could dad have another attack? Will it get worse? What will happen in the future?"
Sarah, 15
"I'm worried because I was told that one minute you can be totally fine and the next you could have problems with MS and I'm terrified that mummy might get bad. I know the tablets are helping, but I still can't help being scared."
Harriet, 10
"I can't go anywhere with my dad and when we do people are always staring at him and me and kids at my school keep asking what is wrong with him and they take the mick. I get worried when my dad goes to hospital because I don't know what will happen to him."
Melissa, 12
"It makes me sad because my mum has MS. I wish I could help her more. Other children make fun of my mum, which is hurtful to me."
Lily, 11
"Our family can get into arguments, but this would happen anyway. Sometimes we can get annoyed because mum can't do things as fast as us."
Sarah, 12
"My mum has MS and when I argue with her I sometimes forget."
Joe, 12
"I can't do all the things with my mum that my friends can do with theirs. It frustrates me."
Lorna, 13
"Sometimes it can be embarrassing like having your mates round and having to go and help your mum with her legs, or put her shoes on."
Joseph, 13
"My dad has been diagnosed with MS and I feel helpless."
Ruth, 15