Went to our final NCT course today. This time it was about breastfeeding, sleeping patterns and C-sections. I have really enjoyed all 3 days that I have gone to, the group is great, the teacher was fab and I am really happy we went. As I mentioned before we were singed up for NHS courses as well. We have since dropped out of these, two reasons mainly; 1 they were on the same day as the NCT courses and it just got a bit too much, I was exhausted the day after, there was also a lot of overlap. 2 there were so many people there that didn’t want to be there, young dads sitting in the back grumbling about being there instead of taking part, girls looking bored rolling their eyes at the questions we were meant to discuss.
It is sad to think so many people have to feel forced and have no interest in these things. Maybe I was wrong and they felt they all knew enough already. At the NCT course people had read lots but they still asked questions. At the NHS course it was like being back at school when it almost felt embarrassing to ask a question. The midwife who did the NHS course was good, it felt a bit like those teachers you sometime see at school that burn for a subject but their pupils just ruin it for them with their lack of interest. It’s a shame really.
But yes today was a very good day, my head is filled with good thoughts and facts, I also feel more relaxed about things I have wondered about like feeding times. I am still a bit scared about the chance of having to have a c-section, but I really hope it doesn’t end up like that. Not really so sure why it scares me, my mum had me through one and I have heard several people that have had them and they are all fine about it. But I have always been silly scared about surgery.
I have thought a lot about the drugs too. Of course the idea of being in pain is not pleasant, I don’t really know if my pain threshold is high or low. But the idea of numbness…well..hrmm..thinking of my MS symptoms I almost preferred the pain to the numbness, maybe that sounds weird or even dumb, but for me the numbness used to leave me with a disgusted feeling. When half of my torso went numb, I used to get the heebie jeebies when I touched that part of myself, getting dressed, or even if Steve would hug me. It didn’t feel like my body anymore, and it was really disturbing, so I guess the idea of an epidural almost makes me feel more uncomfortable than the idea of being in severe pain. But I guess I’ll see when I get to that point and what will happen then, it’s a case of que sera sera I think.
xoxo
Hellie
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