Up at six, a coffee, a bowl of porridge
Trying my best to sum up the courage
To open the curtains and see out there yonder
The city I was going to endeavour to conquer
Walking up through the park with Step-Mum and Dad
Lots of photographic opportunities to be had
Kissing and hugging and many 'Good Lucks!'
I said goodbye to the folks and made for the trucks
I readied myself, to get into the zone
Read texts of support from my mobile phone
I drank and I drank and I drank... I felt strong
You can't drink too much... I thought... I was wrong!
Twenty thousand people were there on the line
Some dressed as rhinos and clowns that could mime
I took my place among the assembled
You could touch the excitement, the air around trembled!
Over the speakers came the news
Mo had arrived with his gold medal shoes
We cheered him well and chanted his name
"He's going to win it" we said "think of the fame!"
Then we were off... it took a while
To get to the start line was about a mile
Tightly packed together, deep heat a stinkin'
I started running - what was I thinking!
It was around about mile three
When I started bursting for a wee
People were going by the side of the road
"Not me!" I thought, I'd rather explode!
Mile four, five and six past in a blur,
So did seven, eight and nine, the crowds they did spur
At the back of my mind I still needed to go
Don't think of water, don't think of its flow!
It was at mile twelve I got really excited
Across Tower Bridge... I was delighted
Crossing the icon I'd seen on TV for years
I was finally doing it, holding back the tears
Just after this, it was finally allowed
Under a bridge, away from the crowd
In years to come, I can proudly say, vested
I'd peed on the street and didn't get arrested
Over the barrier I was tempted to jump
At mile 14, like that big cheating chump
But I ploughed on, heading into the financial quarter
Stuffing in Haribo and knocking back water
Mile twenty two was when it started to hurt
People dropping like flies, into the dirt
The heat had got to seventy degrees
Professional athletes down on their knees!
Finally the finish line hove'd into view
Six hundred metres... now four hundred... now two
The finishing line seemed to be moving away
I finally caught it... I stopped running... hooray!
The crowds they went wild, cheering for me?
Had I come first? Second? or number three?
I got my medal and a massive pat on the back
"Well done Ed" he said "we're proud, here's you plaque."
I struggled to sit, then I couldn't get going
My legs were on fire – I think they were glowing
I had a shower and a massage and a glass of champagne
And sat back and I smiled, one more city I've slain!
At the end of the race, I said never again...
However, On Tuesday morning at 6am...
I entered the ballot for next year's run
Training for that one has already begun!